Tap into Your Most Secret Sexual Desires

Are you ready to kink it up a notch?

OK, so you’ve gotten through my top five tips for rough sex, and you’ve done my top five sexual fantasies, and now you guys are ready to live out some secret desires that you’ve never really let each other know about until now.

That’s the key to these things. They have to be secret wishes and real lusts that you’ve kept in the dark all these years. Bringing them to the light is the real joy here. You become more whole as a person as you let some of your shadow self participate in your sex life.

The sad news is, your puny ego is only capable of a boring sex life. It’s only when you let in some of the more illicit, forbidden and possibly shameful sides of your unconscious come out that you can become whole sexually. And then you will never be bored.

So take a look at these five scenarios. If you feel that any of them light a spark in the shadows of your personality, then they might be worth trying.

1. Have you ever wanted strangers to see you naked?

Did you know that many strip bars hold amateur nights? It might be a real turn-on for your boyfriend to see you up on the pole. Or even watching strangers slip dollar bills into your underwear. Maybe you want to prepare for this scenario by taking a pole dancing class and investing in some expensive sexy underwear. And probably go on a diet for a month. You might have heard that the camera adds ten pounds? Well, the stripper stage with its harsh lights adds another ten, trust me. You want to feel your most confident, fit self out there.

Wigs are a good idea here, too, in case you fear being recognized by an old high school classmate. For that reason, it might be best to travel as far as possible for amateur night. They have a bunch in Vegas for instance. make a whole trip out of it.

And trust me, it is going to be a trip. The next time your boyfriend makes love to you, he’s going to be having sex with a hyper-sexualized female. An object of carnal desire. Not that annoying person that kept bugging him to stop and ask for directions on your way to IKEA the other day.

2. Have you been very bad? Do you deserve to be spanked in public?

In Los Angeles, there is a club where you can go and sign up to be tied up and whipped on stage by a “master.” Now maybe you have tried this with your boyfriend and let’s face it, it’s hard to think of that guy as your “master. I mean, he doesn’t even know how to pick his old socks up off the bedroom floor, how is he your master? Better to let a real pro take control, while he watches.

Imagine the fun when your name is called and you go out onto the stage. You walk out with your mask on. The master ties you up on the contraption. He begins to fondle you a little bit. Then he opens your dress and either spanks your behind or whips you lightly. This is all very safe, trust me. They don’t want to get shut down. You make eye contact with your boyfriend in the crowd. He’s got a visible erection as he watches you accept the punishment you deserve.

And every once in awhile the master might brush up against the front of your panties. He will never go inside, but he will brush against. And he will feel your thighs. And whisper things about what a dirty girl you are.

Who knows maybe he’ll whisper an invitation for you to visit him in his dressing room after. Work out beforehand with your boyfriend whether you can accept, whether he needs to be there watching, or whether he needs to be a participant.

Look, when you are here in the intermediate level of kink, you have to admit that this is a road that is leading in only one direction — more kinkiness, not less. Some of these scenarios could lead to you actually having sex with someone other than your boyfriend. But there is always time to turn back. Don’t freak out.

3. How would you do on a dating site right now?

Sometimes when you’re in a relationship you get jealous of your single friends with their twenty Tinder dates a week lifestyle, and you can’t help but wonder if you would do as well as they seem to be doing with the internet dating dance.

My boyfriend and I had a ball doing this. On a whim, we put a photo and a profile up for me. We waited for somebody to swipe right or whatever. Soon we got our first text messages from a guy. It was a real laugh.

Then he went up and he got a few responses too. We followed these text relationships through for a few days. Finally, a guy asked me to send him some racy shots. My boyfriend had so much fun posing me in different bras and panties. It was very sexy to get the compliments from strangers I hadn’t met yet. Then of course came the inevitable dick pics. We had a laugh at those.

Where does this all lead? Of course, eventually one of these guys is going to want to meet in person. Just a coffee.

I agreed to meet a guy. My boyfriend showed up at the coffee shop separately and watched the whole thing. The arrival of the guy. The conversation. The flirting.

Oh man did he make love to me that afternoon when we got home. The sight of another man courting his female is a huge adrenaline shot for a guy. He really smashed my butterfly that day, that’s all I can say.

Eventually, we felt sorry for the people who were texting us. We were basically catfishing, pretending to be available when we really weren’t. We decided to switch over to posting on couples sites. But that’s a whole other story and a whole other article — sites for threesomes and so on.

You might decide that you want to let your partner go all the way with one of these Tinder catfish experiments. It’s up to you. Like I said earlier, you have to decide when it’s time to turn around and run back home!

4. Have you ever had sex in the office?

I mean, it happens all the time in pornos. But what about real life? Choose a time to visit her. Lock her office door. And make love to her on her desk.

Make sure she doesn’t have an important meeting in there later, though, because the smell of sex will linger for an hour or so.

You can pretend to be one of her co-workers, or you can be yourself. Being her boss is a good one. You can give her a performance “review” afterward.

Or, she can visit you in your office, pretend to be your boss, and hopefully, give you a big raise!

The danger of a co-worker coming in or hearing or what have you is very real. I mean, you could get fired, after all. But that’s what intermediate level kink means — taking a little bit more risk.

Maybe if you don’t like your job that much and you wouldn’t mind being fired, this is the perfect scenario for you. I mean, after all, we are at basically full employment and there is more or less a labor shortage so who cares, right?

But if you’ve got kids and a pension plan and good health care, don’t fuck it up, guys. Just pretend you’re at work when you’re at home, ‘kay?

5. Have you ever had your ass licked?

There is some debate going on right now about whether analingus is safe, and I can assure you, it is as safe as regular oral sex. Maybe even safer.

This really is the last frontier for a lot of couples. You’ve done all the positions. You’ve done the anal sex. You’ve tied her up. She’s spanked you. She’s pegged you. You’ve pulled her hair. She’s bitten you. You’ve bitten her. She’s whipped you. You’ve whipped her.

You’re out of ideas? Well, sir, it’s time to lick her ass.

Start off with a good shower together. Soap it all up and tell her how excited you are to be finally giving her the greatest gift a lover can give.

There really is nothing better than having your ass licked folks, take it from someone who knows.

Lie her down face down on the bed. And kiss your way down her back. Tell her how much you love her. You love her so much that you want to lick her asshole.

If you start with licking around the rim, it will relax her. Tell her how nice she tastes, to settle her nerves. We’re all naturally a little loathe to let anybody go licking up there. After all, we’re not dogs. We’re humans.

But if you tell her you like it, she’ll relax. And you can proceed. Put the tongue inside. Just a half-inch. Then pull it out, and lick around the rim again. Now put the tongue in three-quarters of an inch. Take it out. Lick around the rim again. Now put it in an inch, and so on, until you are actually fucking her ass with your tongue.

Encourage her to play with her clit as you do this. She will be going crazy. The combination of tickle and arousal is too much to stand. And if she can bring herself to climax with her hand as you are fully sucking on her ass, she will love you forever, I promise.

Then, honey, you might want to return the favor. Or you might not. I have found that men are very, very, shy about having their asses licked. But if you can get them to overcome that shyness, they like it as much as we do.

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