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Former child star Jennette McCurdy pulled back the curtain on her frustrating and unsettling experiences working for an allegedly inappropriate man at Nickelodeon whom she refers to only as “the Creator” in her forthcoming memoir.

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The “iCarly” and “Sam & Cat” alum details the allegations in “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” which delves into her work, eating disorder and fraught relationship with her mother (who, she says, “taught” her said eating disorder at age 11). Simon & Schuster will publish the intimate memoir Tuesday.

But an excerpt published Friday by Vanity Fair (and also reviewed by The Times) shares her account about “the Creator,” who she claims pressured her to drink while underage and massaged her while making promises about her show.

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In a strange sort of way Jennette McCurdy’s mother, Debra, is getting what she’d always dreamed of: fame. Never mind that the title of her daughter’s memoir is the brilliantly punchy I’m Glad My Mom Died, or that it details Debra’s controlling and abusive ways. “She’d be like: ‘My name’s on a No 1 New York Times bestseller!’” says McCurdy, laughing. “But not recognising: ‘Mom, I don’t know if people are loving you, exactly.’”

McCurdy is a child star who walked away from her career in her early 20s, something she could only do because of her mother’s death. Since McCurdy was six years old, Debra had shaped and controlled her, turning McCurdy into a successful actor; she was on the hit show iCarly, on the US children’s channel Nickelodeon, and its spin-off Sam & Cat. Every aspect of McCurdy’s life was micromanaged, from who she was allowed to see to what she ate; the restricted diet led to eating disorders. Debra would even wash McCurdy in the shower until she was 16, and touch her vagina and breasts (Debra had been diagnosed with breast cancer when McCurdy was two, and said she was checking for lumps), and shave her legs.

Becoming a famous actor was Debra’s dream, not McCurdy’s. When McCurdy, as a child sitting in the back of the car after a bad audition, tells her mother she doesn’t want to do it any more, Debra is enraged. “She was driving so it was, on my part, poor timing,” she remembers, with a laugh. “She started screaming, tears flowing down her face. She immediately went into hysteria, which was how she often met resistance. And I felt then: ‘This is not an OK thing for me to bring up.’”

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Jennette McCurdy with her iCarly co-star Miranda Cosgrove in 2007. Photograph: Pictorial Press Ltd/Alamy

If her mother’s behaviour reads as abhorrent, then the world of children’s TV doesn’t come across much better, with child stars having to cope with maniacal showrunners and gruelling auditions. There’s a general feeling that it isn’t a healthy place for young people working out who they are. Last month Alexa Nikolas, another former child actor, took part in a protest outside Nickelodeon’s studio in California, claiming that child performers “were not safe” on shows made by the channel. “I try to talk about everything from a personal point of view [rather than] something more systemic,” says McCurdy. “ I absolutely think there are a lot of harsh realities to child and teen stardom.”

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