Is There Such a Thing As A Bad Blowjob?

 

Is There Such a Thing As A Bad Blowjob?

Well, it seemed like a good place to slob a nob. Adobe Images

A guy getting blown is a lucky fella, let’s face it. Having the soft lips and the vacuum-sealed pressure of a mouth on the head of his dong, well, it doesn’t get much better than that. Maybe if there’s a football game on and big sandwich waiting on the table for him to enjoy when she finishes — that might be a little better than an a la carte blowjob.

Here’s how I came to this stunning and startling revelation. This guy suggested that I might slob on his nob like corn on the cob. I thought that was pretty funny. I like a guy with a sense of humor. So I proceeded to slob on his nob. And then I was nibbling along the shaft and he was like “Hey, watch it with those teeth!” And I said, “But this is how I eat corn on the cob! In fact, I usually like it with some butter and salt. Would you mind if I went down to the kitchen and got some?”

“It’s not called a tooth job, it’s called a blow job,” he pointed out.

Now in moments such as these, I have to fight very hard to censor myself, because of course I know WAY more about blowjobs than this guy, right? I happen to know that LOTS of guys really like a bit of tooth on their baloney pony. But if I start claiming to know a lot about sex, I see a certain look on a guy’s face. It’s not that they want me to be a virgin, exactly, but their mind starts a’wandering and a’wondering. I can read their thoughts. They’re wondering, “Exactly how many guys has this chick had sex with anyway, and does that mean that she is perhaps a skank?”

They would never say that word, of course.

But there it is, in their faces, plain as day, as soon as I start spouting my sexpertise during the love act.

So no, I didn’t start an argument with this dude. But I was inspired to kind of hold his feet to the fire a bit. So I said, “Well, let me ask you a question. Which is better — a bad blow job or no blow job at all?”

That was an easy one. A bad blow job is way better than no blow job at all, he had to admit.

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